i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
