please come you make the beer taste better
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
