having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
