yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
