Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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