I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
