my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
