Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I stole a fireplace last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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