Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
