so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
