she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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