Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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