Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
