Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
