I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
