We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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