I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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