Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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