I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
