There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
