Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
