Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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