Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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