when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
