I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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