Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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