My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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