Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
