i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
