I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
