Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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