do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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