oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
