I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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