She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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