yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
