I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
