the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
