His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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