seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
