If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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