Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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