just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
