Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
