My friends, they love my intelligence
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
