you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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