weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
