Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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