I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
