i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
