I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
