You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
