Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
